


This Was a Terrible Idea and It Should Feel Terrible

by parsnips (trifles)



Series: Tales of Love, Loss, and Insurance [19]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Insurance, Intimidation, Post-Movie(s), Press and Tabloids, Public Relations, Publicity, Trolling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 02:45:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3674538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trifles/pseuds/parsnips
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remember that time somebody put Bucky on national television? Yeah, this is the story about that time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Was a Terrible Idea and It Should Feel Terrible

**Author's Note:**

> This is the world of [insurance-Bucky](http://triflesandparsnips.tumblr.com/tagged/fic:insurance!bucky). These are his stories.

Months ago, Stark, who should’ve known better, decided that there needed to be a kind of “meet the team” televised appearance for the Avengers.

Steve (who should’ve  _really_  known better) insisted that Bucky be up there too. If he wanted to. If he was up to it. You know.

This was back when Bucky was just getting into the insurance groove. Reading the stuff that Maria was sending up from HR (despite her strong misgivings on the topic). Getting extra stuff from Sam. Thinking about digging a little deeper using JARVIS.

He still didn’t talk much, though. He didn’t have a lot to say to most people. He basically agreed to go to the TV thing so he could poke Steve in the ankle while he was trying to answer questions, because that was hilarious and Steve’s USO face was bound to break sooner or later. 

He figured he’d just slouch a lot and stare at anybody who tried to ask him a question. He’d tested this with (or against, whatever, semantics) the rest of the team. His stare was very effective.

Anyway, so there they all were, sitting behind a table on a little platform with not nearly enough space between them and the reporters to make a proper blockade against them, and Stark was fielding questions, handing them off to the Widow and Thor and Steve and never Bucky or Barton, because Bucky was doing his staring/slouching thing and Barton had taken out his hearing aids, like, three days ago and apparently lost them in a fire or something.

One intrepid reporter, though, threw a grenade on the whole affair by suddenly yelling, very loudly, “The Winter Soldier, on the end. What do you have to say about the blood of the American people on your hands?”

There was a terrible, ringing silence.

Stark said, “And that’s  _your_  agency right off the guest list—”

While Steve said, “Now wait just a God damned minute—”

Both of them shut up when Bucky held up a hand.

He leaned forward, deliberately lifting his left arm so it would clunk loudly when he dropped it on the table in front of him. His hair was in his face, but he was pretty sure his stare game was strong. The reporter, a skinny guy with close-cropped hair and a wispy moustache, swallowed.

“You want to know what I have to say about blood?” the Winter Soldier whispered.

None too subtly, every camera and microphone in the room turned toward him.

The soldier’s breath rasped. The whirring mechanical sound of his arm filled the room. He stared, unwavering, at the reporter, and said, “The blood deductible refers to the out-of-pocket cost for the first three pints of whole blood, or equivalent units of packed red cells, received by a beneficiary. After the first three pints, the cost of any remaining ones are covered by Medicare.”

Steve’s face seized up into his USO showgirl one. Amazing.

“The term whole blood means human blood from which none of the liquid or cellular components has been removed,” Bucky added helpfully. He kicked Steve in the ankle. This was awesome.


End file.
